Friday, October 21, 2016

{mental roller coaster}

Seems this really is turning into a mom in rehab sort of place to write and that's not what I want.  But it's life now, as every thought passes through my mind with my mother as part of the process.  Can I do such-and-such because we need to visit her?  Can I get her clothes clean and back up there in X amount of time?  What mood will she be in when I go next time?

Well, since you asked.

Today middle daughter and I went to visit her.  We'd just been there on Wednesday, along with some of my boys, and Mom was normal.  The least one painted her nails pink and we decorated her room some more.  A bowl of chocolates and some new makeup.  My mom was very level-headed.  Wednesday was good.  Today was just plain weird.  I can blame the fact that she'd just woken up from a nap, I think.  I'd like to blame something, but she had that nobody is at home look on her face.  She thought I'd been there this morning, and even asked if I could give her some of the drink in a box I'd brought with me.  No idea what she was talking about.  I played along, saying I'd not been there, but what was in the box?  Dead serious she was.  (I sound like Yoda)  She said it was like what our daughter was drinking.  Middle daughter had brought her own coffee with her in a tall covered plastic cup.  Well, Mom wanted some, which was very out of character for her since she's never been one to eat or drink after anyone.  She also said, out of the blue, that she wanted a pinky ring and some purple nail polish.  Go ahead and laugh.  I just shake my head.  Life has turned into such a cartoon.

I'm wondering if these episodes she has, like the one the other day, eat up her brain.  Make it fire strangely?  It is SO weird.

We'll take a break from visiting her this weekend since her church friends wander in there on Sunday afternoons and my oldest brother will probably go tomorrow.

On days like today we walk out shaking our heads.  And for me it takes a day or so to get my own head on straight.  Disturbing to see her behaving oddly, but I know she's safe and that's the main thing.  Least it's never boring, but truly, I'd take boring!

1 comment:

Christi said...

Bless you. This must be (as we say in our house) discombobulating for you. I can only relate to what you're going through in that my grandmother who had Alzheimer's really behaved in that same way. We were so thankful when she was able to go into the nursing home because we knew she would be monitored 24/7. But, it was heartbreaking. That is where you are... living between the relief and the heartbreak. Some things are beyond understanding, and this is certainly one. Praying you find peace and joy in the midst of the heartbreak.