Friday, November 11, 2016

{just today}

Sometimes I still experience those crystal moments when JOY seeps into my spirit. When I feel happy like I used to feel happy. That happened just a few minutes ago, brought on by hearing some geese fly overhead. Gone now, but sweet while it lasted.

The reality of my mom coming to live with us right after Christmas casts a shadow. Only with God's help can this work. I dread it. Her physical care will be so extreme, and her personality is changing to one of paranoia, linked to the type of stroke she had. She sometimes can't be reasoned with and imagines things. Very strange. 

We've gone back and forth about where to put her hospital bed. No spare room. The girls have offered one of their bedrooms and will squeeze together. Willingly. They're so awesome, my sweet girls.

Sometimes the right thing to do is so difficult. And the idea of therapists coming in and us losing the privacy of our house is hard for me. A sense of refuge will be gone. I'm such a hermit.

This would be easier if my relationship with my mom was warm and loving. But it's not. Prickly.

But our newly-married son and his bride come into town soon. Joy again. And today I'll deep-clean the dining room in preparation. Today, which is all I have, is good. I'll draw in some peace. Just do today.

Be thankful for this quiet and beautiful fall day. Glad our molting chickens feel better. Happy we have leftover birthday spaghetti from my husband's day, and for no need to get out. And cleaning that will bring me a lift when the furniture is all changed around. Always a visual treat.

May it be so.

3 comments:

Gloriade said...

May it be so Melissa. Sending loving thoughts your way.

Charm and Grace said...

Thinking of you on this beautiful autumn day. May God give you peace and strength enough to continue to put one foot in front of the other. And joy in the small things... like your son and daughter-in-law... and a clean house. And wisdom for the hard decisions you are faced with. It is a tough season for you, but take heart that it IS a season.

Blessings and prayers as you journey on...

podso said...

Moving furniture around always gives me a boost. Did I mention how much I love your new header photo? I guess I missed something about your mom coming to live with you. That's huge. But it's nice you have the girls there to help you cope. I believe the Lord will bless you for your efforts to care for her and will give you the grace you need. Will pray about this season of life coming to your door.