Wednesday, March 8, 2017

{it's always something}

My husband is awesome. Just plain awesome. He says in a thinking mode tonight maybe we just let my mom be. If she wants to walk, let her walk. If she wants to stay in bed, ditto. Same for everything. We'll quit managing her. She doesn't want for do stuff anyhow. And he says that eventually when she can't get up anymore and has made herself bedridden and we physically can't manage her, we'll see about getting her a place elsewhere.

Bam. There went the load of cr*p I've been lugging around. It was a huge relief to hear his brainstorm, and I'd not realized how bound I had felt to help her get better. Wasn't happening anyhow. Stubborn is as stubborn does, or something like that.

She had another TIA this morning. Got her out of bed, dressed and tidied and put her food on her tray. She was fine and chatty. Left the room for one minute, went back in to get something and she was sort of frozen. Staring at her hands. Couldn't hear me. Couldn't use her right hand and was yawning big time. Didn't know the words for her coffee and yogurt. (We've been here before, but not to this degree.) Gradually she snapped out of it.

You don't panic when this is the new normal. Nothing you can do.  Wait it out.

Tired tonight. I made it through the day ok as well, but it hit me several hours layer. Having a fragile human life in your charge is a bit maddening. The girls were all here when Mom was going through it this morning. Yeah, awesome times three there too.

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