Been awhile. Life rolls around the same way most days.
We had bit of a startling situation today, though, not involving my own family, but someone at church. A young man, probably in his mid-thirties, military, died at his home this morning. He lived just down the street from the church and his dad found him. He stood out to our family and many other folks at church because he was unusual. Not sure if there was mental illness involved, but there was something not quite right. So strange when we saw him, talked to him, shook his hand, and had dinner with him at church just six days ago. He was in good health, joking around, a bit loud and obnoxious, but alive. Now he's gone. It's so brief.
And I think, well, the Lord has blessed me with about 20 more years than this young man already. I think sometimes, when someone passes away, like the recent death of the 35 year old daughter of the folks we bought our home from 20-something years ago, that it's odd that their job is done, and here I am, still doing my job. We don't get the same amount of years, and even so, sometimes it seems folks are snatched too soon. The 35 year old daughter left three young sons and a husband who was crazy about her. Makes no sense whatsoever. Pneumonia. Who dies from pneumonia these days? I know, I know, it happens, but in this modern age, seems so senseless and avoidable.
God's ways are often beyond me. And I do believe we sort of fear death to the extreme. We latch onto this place in a way He probably would rather we didn't.
My mom said to me after she got into bed tonight that her sister, who's 95, had confessed that she didn't feel good this evening. The two of them are into prosperity teaching, faith-based, and will never make a negative confession, not wanting the universe (read: the devil) to hear them doubt God. To say it makes it true, or at least puts it at risk of coming true. Oh mercy. I shake my head. Not sure why these two topics fit in side by side in my head---both the young man dying and my aunt not feeling good, but there you go.
My husband says it'll all make sense when we reach Heaven. Not sure it'll matter then. I mean, Heaven. Who cares about this old Earth by then?
Reading Ann Voskamp's The Broken Way. Crying throughout the whole book, especially when she mentions her husband, who must be the perfect fit for her. Purges my soul to read it. That woman has experienced some pain, let me tell you, and she can still stand and talk about it. Leaning on Grace the whole way.
Heaven will be amazing. No worries, no tense shoulders, no tears of sadness, pure worship. I can drink in the thought.