Wednesday, August 2, 2017

{stuff and nonsense}

Funeral this afternoon for a dear elderly woman in our church. Full funeral Mass they call it. It will be a beautiful service, guaranteed. She ran in elite circles, being heavily involved in the Republican party in our city, so the mayor and other muckity-mucks will likely be in attendance. I already miss her. She's the one who taught me how to arrange the altar flowers, often sharing her rose garden for cutting. Even last month she called me, asking if I needed flowers and the girls and I went out to her house (estate is more like it) and cut roses and glads.  She passed away on Saturday and I cried throughout the church service on Sunday, and I wasn't alone. 'Maida'...you've left a huge void in many lives.

In other news, I sort of gave my brothers an ultimatum about Mom. Said we desperately, ever desperately, need a break from caregiving, naming September or October as being prime. Don't think they're taking me seriously, and reminded them of my plea from a month ago. My girls nerves are a bit tattered. My brothers drag their feet. I suggested putting her up on Craigslist, but not sure they'll allow that.

Mom's feet have begun to swell again. After scolds from her weekly nurse to drink more water (how silly) and move around a bit, she listens for a day, then just sits. Yes, I realize we're dealing with brain damage from her strokes, but, oddly enough, the stubborn part of her brain hasn't been affected.
And after tearing my hair out, once again, reminding her to drink, walk, do something, I told her Monday night I was done (a replay of a former conversation) with hounding her. She smiled when I told her she'd hear no more reminders from me, going so far as to say I didn't care if she drank water or not. Hmmm. Yesterday she was a good little toaster, refilling her cup once (fanfare), and expecting us to throw confetti. No comment. She says didn't I think her feet already looked better after one day. Well, uh no, I don't. One day of what?!

And here's newsflash:  since being off all her meds except her b/p prescription, she's had no more mini-strokes (TIAs). No cholesterol, diuretic or arthritis meds. Connection? It's been nearly 2 months, and she had been having them about every 2 weeks. The last humdinger was mid-June. I think we're onto something.

She's on the border of being dehydrated, making her loopy at times. Her body is saying it wants to hold onto all the fluids she takes in. The nurse and aide roll their eyes, witnessing this daily with their patients. Mom's free ride with home health runs out this month. Then she won't have anyone but us to nag her. And we're done nagging. She's like a spoiled child, almost enjoying the attention she gets from being a stinker. She sulked yesterday, likely noticing we were ignoring her. Good grief. How old are you?

Moving on. Two crocheted baby blankets almost completed for our grandbabies due soon. Used Bernat blanket yarn, all thick, soft and chunky. Will mail one out to California this week for next weekend's shower, and take the other one to son's coed shower later this month. My husband is squirming about this shower, saying it's a women's thing traditionally, why botch up tradition by making the men go? Makes me laugh.

Must toddle off now. Tidying to do and will press the least one's dress for the funeral. Husband, as caretaker, is already at church. They're even having valet parking, my goodness. Our church can seat about 225 if you stuff them in. It'll be curious to see how many come.

Take care. Trying to keep my sense of humor. How'm I doing?

4 comments:

Charm and Grace said...

So sorry for your loss, and really appreciative of your inquiry and prayers. It is so hard to be separated from (I hesitate to say "lose" since we know where they are!) someone you were so close to. She sounded like a lovely person.

Riley's mom decided it was time for him to go home last week with Hospice care, after 2 weeks in the hospital. He wasn't getting any better or worse, and I think trying to be in 2 places was wearing on her. And his brothers missed him. I have not heard anything from them in a couple of days, but the last we heard he was not really recognizing people and mostly just eating and sleeping. We are continuing to pray for a miracle. This precious family's faith is amazing.

xoxo

M.K. said...

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. She sounds just lovely. I hope maybe you can continue to visit her garden?
I don't know what to say about your mom. My grandmother was also difficult and petty, and tiresome. Finally my mother had to put her into a home because she was aggressive. It was sad. I do hope you get a respite.

Gloriade said...

Hi Melissa,

I too am sorry to hear of the loss of someone you admired and respected in your church. She must have been a great source of wisdom for you. Good for you for stepping up to your brothers. I hope and pray they will listen. Right about now I think I would be dropping your mom on their doorstep as you and your family head off on a road trip! Of course you can't and wouldn't do that but I pray they will have ears and hearts to hear your concerns.

Bonnie said...

Checking in to see how you are. Grands coming soon, sorry for the loss of a dear older woman, and your mom's days. Craig's List... you got a chuckle out of me!