Sunday, August 13, 2017

{sunday}

Stuff here?  Brothers say they're on it.  Tell me another one.  Supposedly as of yesterday, oldest brother is talking to the same woman I emailed back and forth, at A Place for Mom.  And he says tomorrow he'll call the VA about getting my dad's benefits for Mom.  Yeaaaahhhh.  Will believe it when I see it.  He yammered on about getting her in a permanent nursing home situation.  Goodness.  How many times do I have to say, ONE MONTH.  That's all we're asking. As hard as it is, and as maddening my mom's care is, don't want her to be in full-time care.  I promised her I'd not do that.  Hope they don't overrule me, snowball me over.  'Course they'd have to get past the door to fetch her.

Lord?  Please take her home.

She's different since my brother and his wife/kids/grandkids came into town a few weeks ago.  More inward.  Sitting all the time now, but still doggone stubborn.  Drinking water, no.  Walking around, no, but telling the nurse how much she's drinking and how active she is.  I shake my head.  Back on her diuretic, but legs and feet swelling daily.  Her aide brings it to my attention, because she has to, but if the patient won't follow orders, what are you going to do?

Blessings today, though.  I didn't see her or talk to her at all.  Oldest daughter got her breakfast, and she slept the afternoon away.  Dinner in her room, which the same daughter took to her.  My husband tucked her in.  Makes my heart light.  Seems I load this invisible burden on my back whenever I talk to her.  Even the other night, my husband left to get our middle daughter at work, so I was the one who bedded Mom down.  Went into her room, and she'd taken forever to get both legs on the bed, but I waited out in the hall till she did.  I walked in, and let her know I was there, and she let her right leg fall off the side of the bed again.  It was fully on the bed before.  I told her (nicely) she'd have put it back up, that I wasn't going to do it for her.  She got all big-eyed saying she'd never talk to her own mother like I did her.  Really?  Do we have to get into a tussle every time I ask her to do something?  Apparently.  Yep, she's a princess. 

Well, she got it back up, and oddly enough, the next night I was in there, she didn't give me any grief, just got her legs up all nice and neat.  Back and forth.

But Grace today. 

Prayed outside last night after my shower.  Combing my hair out, sitting in the dark, just quiet.  Released her to Him, taking my hands off, letting Him know I'd not try to control whatever the plan is for her.  Ideally we'd get her house sold quickly, but again, my brothers are necessary to get it done.  Got to keep my hands off.  Wanting to control things is a female thing, seems to me. 

But this very second is good. 

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