Sunday, October 1, 2017

{resting and cleaning}

At church today, I sat in the nursery with our oldest daughter, caring for another member's 5 month old. Our girl rocked the baby to sleep. We talked. Considered when this daughter's future husband will appear.  I love these conversations.

After a bit, she got up and asked if I'd hold the little one. She left the room.  I sat in the upholstered rocker, kissed the baby on the head, breathing that milky scent mixed with everpresent spit-up. Ah, the sweetness of babies.  Took me back. Smells of home and safe places.

Left alone in the nursery, I could feel myself give way, needing to cry so badly. Already my eyes had circles under them from crying last night. Too much to think about, and with it October first, our son here in town is expecting Hazel Grace in the next 2 weeks. My heart is a bit overwhelmed.

This time next week, Mom's house will be sold. Door shutting. Baby coming. Door opening.  Sad and thankful all at the same time.

About to go clean out Mom's house some more. Ready for this chapter to come to a close. It's time.

Thanks for listening.

1 comment:

M.K. said...

People often say, "When God closes a door, He opens a window." And I dislike that platitude, when it's given to a sufferer. But God does shift us and stop us in our tracks, and close off part of life painfully, and then open new parts when we don't really feel emotionally ready for them. We wait on Him for so long, and then when He does act, we aren't ready. sigh! May you have your cries and heal your eyes.