Thursday, October 12, 2017

{today}

We had rain. Blessed rain, oddly enough in the night after I posted the need. It'd been weeks and weeks. Dry before. Now not so crispy-feeling. Calmer.

Mom's house closing possibly today? My brother needs it to happen soonly. He's having to pay a hefty sum weekly, give or take, to pay the balance of Mom's care over Medicare. He must've acquired a neat savings over the years. Down it goes. He's heard, maybe I've mentioned it, that Medicaid might reimburse him.

Watched a new movie last night, 'Collateral Beauty,' with Will Smith in it. Some strong language, but an amazing story. Cried throughout the ending. And my laptop froze at 15 minutes from the end. Got it started again, fortunately. Eyeroll.

And reading Jan Karen's latest. Yes, it's wonderful. Of course it is. That woman's talent for writing is a gift to us all.

Deep conversations with our children lately. Digging through our lives these past months. Healing from 4 years of the burden of my mom. Soothing hurts we've caused by allowing my mom to dominate our home while she lived with us.

I say this seriously, if you care for elderly parents, get help, talk to someone and unload, guard your health, and don't put their care ahead of your own or your family's.

Mom has been out of our home now, for 2 months. We're just now beginning to feel our brand of normal. I'm still struggling with guilt, but learning to soothe that tiger. Guilt calls, I don't have to pick up. Haven't seen my mom in a month, and haven't talked to her in 2 weeks. Amazing how refreshing it is to distance myself from her personality.

Today is a cleaning day. My house is covered in mounds of dust, struggling to be set free. Therapeutic. I'll have a go at it.

1 comment:

Charm and Grace said...

There is really no way to rid yourself of toxic people ...they are everywhere. Yet, when you've been immersed in it, as you have for the past 4 years, it's going to take a while to rid yourself of the poison. So glad you've been able to distance yourself a bit. Allow the freedom to wash your soul. :)