Monday, March 12, 2018


An official letter came in the mail on Saturday stating that my mom qualified, once again, for Medicaid. This means she will receive long-term nursing home care, which is wonderful since her house sale money has dwindled down to pocket change. Six thousand-ish/month nursing home fees blows by fast. I can't begin to express my relief. My oldest brother, who's been a major pain in the neck through this whole process, had made noise about us having to prove this and that and how much paperwork would be necessary. Well, no. Went through like a breeze. God is so very faithful.

I made strawberry shortcake by way of celebrating.

This really feels like a turning point. And thankfully the place where she lives is safe and decent, and there ARE some questionable nursing homes. I won't dispute that. This is not one of them.

Moving on.

Deep cleaning the house. I think there is some sort of metaphor going on. My mental state plays out in curious ways sometimes. Trying to let go of things I set aside from my parents' house when it was sold. Hard to deal with that all at once. A year ago, my mom lived with us and, in the meantime, her house had to be cleared out, a huge task, and sold. My method was to stuff my emotional baggage and not deal with it. Not healthy. Then pile on my brothers. One being Mr. Let-me-throw-my-weight-around and the other one crawling under a rock. Good grief. I realize that doesn't sound nice, but I've had to tippy-toe around my brothers way too long. A support system they're not.

Be gone brothers. Clearly we have some issues.

Beautiful day. Sunny and breezy. Chilly. Thankful for a slow start to spring. The daffodils and forsythia in our yard are lasting, which isn't always the case. Enjoying their splash of color.

Today, more cleaning. Need to put a period on it, though and find a definite stopping point. Miss Hazel comes, at least, twice a week, staying from noon-time till around 8, so absolutely nothing gets done during that time. Not complaining at all, just admitting how smitten with her we all are.

Today: finish dining room. Maybe just do a quick clean of the rest of the house. A maintenance sort of tidy. That will settle my mood. Order in the house spells order in my heart.

Enjoy your day. All is well, at least for today. I'm good with that.


podso said...

The cleaning actually sounds good and I find it therapeutic. good for thinking. And you get little Hazel twice a week? How wonderful. I can well imagine nothing gets done. Hours well spent, already building into her life with love and hugs.

M.K. said...

Glad that God is calming your world down. Deep cleaning the heart. So glad you have Hazel coming. That is therapy.

Bonnie said...

I wish I could give you a hug!

Gloriade said...

Praise God for his blessings. So glad you have the reassurance that your mom will continue to be well cared for in a good place. After spending two weeks in just such a facility I understand like never before how important it is to be in place where you are treated with respect and genuine compassion.

You have been a good a faithful daughter and now God is blessing you with the joy of being able to spend time with your beautiful, beautiful Hazel. I miss that with my little Ava but God is good and I am healing and someday I will be able to hold her again. Blessing Melissa. I am so glad God is bringing back into the light.