Sometimes I write in here to keep myself accountable. Seems I need lots of reminding of God's faithfulness and continual presence in my life. If I mull over my concerns, I can work things out.
Unfortunately, the past few months to a year, I've been a hermit. A situation occured in regards to my mom and brothers, which I won't go into, that messed up my head. Badly.
Healing takes time, and if you keep sticking your foot in stuff, you end up moving backwards, never getting past whatever the mess might be. You're stuck.
In my herbal studies the other day, a writer laid out herbs to help in recovery when adrenal glands are exhausted, when the constant stress becomes detrimental to a person's health, and when the negative habits of worry begin to rewrite how your organs are supposed to work, putting you in danger.
He stated in an amusing but hard-hitting way, that while he can give advice on recovery with supplements, he can't tell you how to also adjust your behavior. The herbs become a band-aid alone unless you also change how you react to stress. He makes reference to how there's no glory in sitting in a wheelchair, recovering from your first stroke.
My husband tells me, in a heart-breaking voice, that it hurts him when I allow everything to be rooted in fear. Chicken Little has nothing on me.
Eight kids have been overwhelming. I wouldn't trade any one of them, but the issues some of them have involved themselves in have hurt us deeply, and continue to do so. Overlap that with extended family issues, also lurking in the background.
At the same time, we have God-fearing children who bless us with their stories of listening to Him. Fills me with a deep joy. Mustn't allow the negative take away from the truths.
So, home is a refuge. Our fortress. Constantly blessed and prayed over. Invisible, evil forces be damned. Prayers for a Godly, spiritual hedge to surround our home, and all of our children. I can't say this strongly enough. I think we would be terrified if we could actually see the angels and demons battling it out. All the time.
I think our prayers should be like the waves of the sea, constantly washing over us. Over and over again.
I find that visual a comfort.