Tuesday, April 9, 2019

{stop}

In a general sense, the world moves too fast for me. It takes me a long time to process things in my head, to get used to change, to settle.

So right now I'm in bed, eating a tomato sandwich---nutty whole grain bread, mayonnaise, a tad bit of salt, water to drink, the window open. It's enough.

Middle daughter caught a bad cold a few weeks ago, and because she has the first nature to not stop, the cold has lingered. Her second nature is to need quiet. It's a contradiction, but it's who she is. She has to be made to quit finding things that keep her busy, or she suffers. After a slow weekend, she's better. Slept 14 hours in one go starting Saturday night. Poor baby. Really. Poor baby. If you don't stop, you don't heal. People don't stop anymore. Our brains are whizzing all the time.

Reading is my drug, especially thrillers read on the reading app on my phone. I check them out from the library, and escape, but it's not right. Not satisfying.

Turning pages is soothing, settling to my spirit. Reading words in my lap, not tucked in my hand. I need to make a change. Honestly, even the small adjustment of paper books, easy crafts, creative work that's not taxing is what will heal my mind. I'm just tired so much of the time.

It's like as soon as I get to a restful spot in my head, here comes a surprise. Something worrying or hard. Tired of hard. So, I think the rest of this week, I'm going to shun the difficult. If someone or something comes my way that sends up my nerves, I'm going to walk away from it, if even for the time being.

As our daughter didn't quickly heal because of non-stop physical activity,  I can't heal with continual mental demands.

The earth in its spring-like dress awakens, so I will do the opposite and rest.