Tuesday, August 13, 2019

{tuesday}

Sometimes I struggle with focusing on today, because I allow the tomorrows to sneak in.

Today Hazel comes over for a few hours (delightful), I've already put a big pork loin in the crockpot for bbq, we'll have a bon voyage dinner for middle daughter, we'll try to get to bed early.

Tomorrow morning we leave the house at 4-4:30am to get her to the airport, my husband has his 2-week doctor's appointment after surgery, and we do our yard. Looking forward to the yard part, partly because it's after all the other stuff. Supposed to be cooler. Fingers crossed.

Thursday our 4th son has a court date for an accident he was in that totalled his Mini last week. Mercy. He's fine but for a couple of cracked ribs. Hard wanting to help, but he moved out of town recently, so mostly we just keep in touch by phone. Have offered to go with him to court, which is in a nearby town (not where he moved), and waiting to hear back.

Okay, so I'm the hub of the wheel here. As the wife and mom, I'm the boring, mostly predictable one. I buy the toilet paper, straighten the house, and make sure we all have dinner together. Basic stuff. The hard part is craving times where the wheel spins freely, no bumps in the road, and I experience peace of mind. Thing is...that rarely happens.

Life now feels more like those arcade games with the balls bouncing around, constantly pinging.

Usually on Mondays I size up the week, anticipating one day without drama, no running around and no outside chores. This week, I think that's Friday.

Today I buckle down my emotions, because middle daughter won't want to see tears. I'll suck it up. Won't be easy, mostly because she can't wait to get away.

But with God's help, I'll continue to be the hub, the one you call, the one who listens. The one who shoots you straight even when you don't want to hear it.

Under the cover of His wings. He's aware of my struggles and needs. Throws me a rope with a big ol' knot in it when life spins me around. Grace over all of it. I seriously don't know how my kids can actually admit to not needing Him. They'll say, 'But everything seems to go fine without praying about it all.' And I respond, 'Don't you realize how many folks are praying over you?'

Silence.

My kids each have to have that crystal moment of realization that He does indeed live. As a mom, it's hard to be patient for that.

Take care.