Thursday, May 16, 2019

{slowing down}

Wrapping up our homeschool year today. Delivering youngest son to work. Eating leftovers for dinner. Planting the rest of my gifted flowers. Putting more flower seed into the ground, hoping they take, but being realistic nonetheless.  Getting hot here and seedlings don't fare well that way. Don't I know it. I so can relate.

Slowing way down in my head today. Stopping to breathe. Drinking more water.

Lots of verbs here, but none of it hard.

Yesterday my van was a bit cranky about starting. We think a light had been left on, taxing the battery. Again, I can relate. Anyway, I had a couple of errands to run, and I got so anxious, afraid it wouldn't start after I turned it off. No issues, but a racing heart and anxiety, which isn't funny. Getting home was a huge relief, and the van behaved very nicely after that initial snafu.

When anxiety blasts me like that I know to have to step back, rethink how I'm living. And while today, on the surface, looks busy, it's all easy work. Making things pretty. Soul work, which is gratifying.

Being aware. That's the hard part. Still, having so many kids, is draining. A blessing, for sure, but so many people to care for. Starting today I will put myself a bit up toward the top in importance.  We'll all benefit.