My struggle is not wanting to put anyone out, but hey, what I'm doing keeps folks employed, right?
Self-care. Gracious. Like no other time. When I have something to do outside the house, I do a mental scan. Do I really want to get out in the weirdness, is it worth it, and do I seriously need to get out? Does my heart race? Will this stress rash quit cropping up on my hands? Such a chore to just live life.
What this makes me think of is being in a continual state of 'trying to not step on a crack and break my mother's back.' Like I'm always holding my breath. All the darn time. Waiting to hear the all clear, but I'm not. Figure enough time has passed, but apparently it's not. Thinking I can trust my local politicians, who I interpret as power hungry and grasping, but I don't. Idiots. Unable to let my guard down because of those pesky cracks in the sidewalk.
My mantra of 'just doing today' isn't cutting it because my eyes keep rolling back in my head. If you'd told me a year ago where we'd be right now, well, no. I'd have said, 'Pull the other leg, okay?'
I'm not having fun anymore, and I'm not keen on living like zombies.
Scratch, scratch, scratch. Eyeroll. One day closer to regular, please?